lost in the NICU world

First time mom and I’m really struggling to advocate for my baby or my self. I work as a nurse for the healthcare system my baby is at, and I’m constantly like let me not rock the boat. I don’t feel the nurses want the parents around. They seem to be constantly rushing and not interested in letting me bond with my baby. (certain nurses)

I drove 45 mins today + called the nurse to let her know my arrival time to do skin to skin with my baby and the nurse let me hold her for an hour and said “we got to put her back” I was so upset and didn’t speak up for my self. when other nurses have let me hold her for hours.

I feel like no real progress is being made? I could be crazy and rushing this process because my anxiety is so highented, but my baby is almost 34 weeks old and still in the isolette? Is this normal? why aren’t we transitioning her to a crib? (Crib babies get more freedom obviously). She has proven she can regulate her temperature. The only issue we have had so far was she was on room air and got put back on high flow for a few days. She has only had one event of fast breathing. I feel like I am completely in the dark and get vague answers when speaking to the doctor. The doctor told me she was just a “feeder and grower” - so why is she constantly being trapped in the isolette all day?

Any feed back would be great and if i’m being dramatic please tell me.