(19M) learning what I want in life.

I grew up in a family that was very well of financially but in terms of kindness, generosity and overall love it was sparse and thin along with that It was a constant guilt trip or many things along the lines of it if I brought any of it up and I don’t know exactly how all of this has messed with me which there is more to a much larger extent but I know it has in some way the main and mostly the only one I realize is it’s hard for me to not get angry over small things, or annoyed, aggravated,impatience. I have always wanted to be a “kinder and better” person but I didn’t and don’t really know what that defines I have been reading more along with journaling and meditating but i don’t know what I should to in the future regarding these ideas or topic. Thank you for reading and feel free to DM.