My husband is depressed and overworked... He is borderline on divorce.. IDK what to do

Hello everyone,

I am not sure how to approach the whole thing so here it is...

I am (29F) my husband (30M).. we have been married for almost 4 years... Known each other since 14 years... We were basically kids when we were met and we fell in love (him first) we had our ups and downs but basically we are mad about eachother... We love each other very much and has always been there for each other during thick and thin... We are basically best friends who got married... Our families love us and portrait us as the young loving couple...

My husband has tendency to get depressed (imp for later).. not easily but our life was very hard at some points... He fought very hard to get my father's approval for us to get married -our culture requires father's approval- but we made it through and we started our lives how we wanted...

Here comes the issue... Since we got married... The topic of divorce came up 2 times... Maybe 3... First time was a year and half into marriage.. second was after it with about 8 months... The third was yesterday... He suddenly became distant bit by bit for the last three weeks... And I have been feeling it but when I asked he just said it was work related (his work is demanding)

Mot once the topic was opened and it was about us hating each other but it was about him not being fulfilled with our relationship... Unfortunately he can't decide what can I do to make him feel fulfilled...

Moreover, he always struggled with putting himself first in any type of relationship he has... Even with his friends and family... I was pushing him always to put himself as a priority... Never worked but the issue is he does this in our relationship and he keeps pretending that he is okay and fine with everything while he is not... Only for it to backfire later on us... Now... He doesn't know what he wants... He confessed that two times in the last 7 months he caught himself thinking about other women... When I asked what he was hoping for... He said it was basically that he didn't have the pressure of the responsibilities anymore... We have a lot of responsibilities towards our families something about toxic family dynamics that we are trying to break...

My issue here is that I don't want to lose him... And we agreed that we both love eachother deeply... He doesn't know whether he wants a divorce or not... He doesn't know what he wants or needs or what should I do in order for him to feel fulfilled... I want your advice regarding this... What can I do? How can I make him feel more relaxed in our house? How can I reignite the spark between us without pushing him? (Sex is not only physical for him... He has to have emotions and be on a good place mentally to have it) I feel at lose and I can't speak to anyone from my circles about this...