I think I married the wrong person.

Long story short, I think I finally know for sure that I married the wrong person for numerous reasons. I, 30(f), have been married for 5 years.

During our dating phase for 3 years, there was some sex , arguments, flowers, dates etc. After we got married, sex fell to once a year. We’ve argued a lot about it, he eventually hit me with a “There a people who go to war and live separately from their spouses without sex, aren’t they happy? Why can’t we be?”

At that point I realised, our outlook in being a couple is different. There are lots of other issues too.. he doesn’t have any hobbies besides watching tv. He doesn’t initiate conversations or any form of small touch holding hands etc.

He doesn’t help around the house unless I ask him too. I have to ask him for everything.. to throw the trash to wash dishes to help me with anyth and everyth.

Doesn’t know how to cook and doesn’t try to learn any chores unless I ask him too…

He has no savings and he does not like to engage in conversations about our future or things like finance, values, children etc. We have no goals planned out because he finds it difficult to talk about things in general.

Most days it just feels like I’m his mother or a room mate.

He’s a Mummys boy… His mother treats him like a kid even though he’s 35. It’s almost disgusting.

I’ve also developed autoimmune conditions from the time I got married.. sometimes I wonder if they co relate to my failing relationship.

I’ve brought up divorce numerous times in the last 5 years and he never agreed to separation.

At this point.. I just feel like a dead person walking around with a facade of being okay.

I got married because I was promised a happy, healthy relationship… But there’s nth happy or healthy about us. He just likes to be unbothered and left alone and he’s content. There’s nth we talk about anymore either, we just lay with our backs facing each other using our phones most days.

Ive tried to mend things alot from the time we were dating.. He always assures me to change things but of course… he never really does or they are temporary: I’ve stopped expecting anyth from him.. I’m not sure how to go about my life from here..

I’ve lost my smile. I’ve lost my spark and my magic. I was a happy charming soul but now I look like I have the life sucked out of me.

Generally he is a good person.. just not a good partner maybe.

Can you stay in a relationship that does not feel like a relationship any longer just because your spouse does not want to part ways?

Have any of you been in a similar situation?

** I’m sorry that my thoughts are all over the place, I’m just in an odd place in my life.