I feel like my wife lets her emotions take control all too often and it's getting harder and harder for me to be the only one keeping my head on straight.

Now I'll first say that I'm not claiming to have perfect emotional control all the time. I also get angry at certain things and can raise my voice but that is the extent of it. However, my wife seems to think that because she is a woman she is allowed to let her emotions just run rampant.

For more context, we got pre approved for a home loan last night and it was awesome! Where it all fell off however is when she mentioned she has a wax appointment today. After having thought about that for several seconds, I wanted to point out that I think it's a good idea to put her waxing on hold for a few months until we are done with our moving transition as the next 6 months are going to be a very expensive time. I even told her she could go ahead and do the one tomorrow but future ones we should hold off on. Said in a very suggesting way remind you.

Now, her waxing isn't the only thing I thought about. I was fully prepared to have a full conversation about both our spending habbits and find ways we can help ease the next 6 months of spending. But that's not what she had in mind. Immediately after I mentioned the idea of her temporarily stopping her waxing, her attitude goes immediately into the trash can. Her shoulders drop, her face turns to a hard frown, and she goes straight into defensive mode, then starts angrily telling me that isn't fair.

The next hour was her angrilly telling me reasons as to why her waxing is so important and necessary. I tried to fight against it with as much emotional control as I could for as long as I could but at some point it becomes near impossible for me to be the only one with emotional control so at some point I loose it to and start yelling.

As she continues being incredibly angry over my suggestion she even starts saying things like "if I have to sacrifice that then what about the snacks you get at work??? what about the game server you rent and hardly use?? what about you spending money on haircuts?" So she threw 3 things at me to her one thing and I completely without argument agreed to the first two but not the haircut. That's absolutely silly. Men need to look professional for work, I'm not going to make my life harder by looking like shit. Her life will not get harder for skipping a few waxes.

So again, we fought in this manner for a couple hours and from my perspective It just feels like I'm the only one who even attempts to keep composure and be respectfull durring the entire thing. I agreed to giving up maybe 2 or 3 things, she ended up giving up nothing in the end. And the last half of the fight was her trying to tell me I'm the stubborn one and that i say things in certain ways that make her feel like I'm ordering her, even though I actively made sure to talk and bring it up in calm, respectfull and open way. In other words i ACTIVELY made sure I said things in ways that do not sound controlling, yet she still thinks I'm being controlling anyways.

By the end of the argument, I just tried to point out that I think the entire argument was unnecessary. We could have easilly come to the same conclusion by having a calm rational discussion, but she just gets so defensive about everything when it's something she doesn't like. All I tried to suggest at the end was that she could work on being not so negative in moments like these. Even when it's a discussion about something you disagree with it can still be said in respectful, calm, and rational ways. But she then says she gets defensive because I say things that make her feel like she doesn't have a choice. I then tell her, I don't know what else to do to make her realize I'm not ordering her. When I suggested temporarily stopping her waxes, I used every piece of language I could to make myself seem open and not controlling and ready for an open conversation. But I know that it doesn't matter at all how gentle I approach her, if it's a topic she doesn't like she will find ways to justify her emotional outrage.

What we are left with is me being the only one even attempting to have a rational discussion. She still feels justified in her attitude but her reasoning seem just plain false to me. I do not believe I said anything in a controlling way and my only goal was to have a discussion. Eventually the argument ends. In an attempt to just calm the situation I apologize for raising my voice, she then thinks I'm being sarcastic about it. So I completely gave up trying. This morning I woke up and honestly I'm even more furious about it now. I'm just so tired of being the only one attempting to keep emotional control and now I just want to let it all go. I just want to be an irrationally immature person and just be pissed off because i can. If she gets to do it why can't I do it sometimes?

Anyways, this is more of a vent than anything but if anyone has any advice, I would love to hear it.