The need to “bounce back” after having a baby

Warning: talk of weight loss and bodily fluids

Last night I went out with my husband for the first time since we had our second baby. We went to a gala for his work and lots of pictures were taken and I went to bed feeling particularly unhappy with my body.

In the middle of the night I was feeding my baby and scrolling Reddit. I came across a post on the breastfeeding sub about a woman who almost died from sepsis due to mastitis from breastfeeding and pumping. She talks about pumping 16oz of straight blood from her boobs but still refusing medical treatment. Once she was finally hospitalized and near death’s door, she mentions that none of the medical professionals encouraged her to stop breastfeeding, and that she loved breastfeeding for many reasons, but mostly because it helped her lose weight (she is now under 100lb).

I thought about all the pressures of motherhood, all the sleepless nights and guilt and physical pain. The nights I would just hold my baby and cry, alone in the dark, and I didn’t even know why I was crying. I suddenly decided I need to change my perspective on my postpartum body right now. Because the obsession with changing our bodies is literally killing us. And our babies need us. How have we strayed so far from what’s important?