Strap-on suggestions?

I'm looking to buy a strap-on, and would like suggestions on the harness and dildo.

I've been looking through old posts about this and from what I can gather a dual density silicone dildo is the best.

Some people have suggested some type of base cushion/grinder on the dildo, bumpher, lippi etc. What I don't get is how they are positioned within the harness or briefs. I've seen many harnesses that are covered at the base, so how would it give pleasure? Do they require a specific type of harness/briefs?

What I think is most important is that it doesn't feel loose and flappy, I want to feel like it's fit securely to me and that I'm in control. And also that the dildo is positioned low, close to my clit. It would also be good if the size can be adjusted, so two people of different sizes can use it.

Also any general tips are appreciated. I've never used a strap before.