Reflections as a Shy person - How rare compliments and attention get as I age...

(This is more of a personal post and not necessarily any broader social commentary or critique. I've been a lurker in this sub and respect and appreciate the discourse and insights this sub often comes with, hence why I couldn't think of any other space more befitting to share this than this one)

When I was a kid, I used to be adored and doted by almost everyone, since I was the youngest among my first cousins on both the maternal side as well as the paternal side. They used to enjoy hanging out and engaging with me, ask me questions, my interests and hobbies, teasing me, pinch my cheeks and offer other similar PDAs,

As I reached puberty, I became a very socially awkward and shy person (I was shy, looking back, even prior, my family has brought on how I used to be uncomfortable or outright cry whenever they introduced me to a relative for the first time. I guess with age comes more autonomy, and so, I merely stopped putting in effort from my side, whereas prior, I was encouraged or outright coaxed/forced by elders to mingle),

I still got teased/complimented by some of my cousins/relatives (very close first cousins, who are pretty much actual siblings to me all-but-biologically) on how girls will be queuing up for me for proposals, for example (not a humblebrag, lol, I'm not particularly handsome or anything, not that tall or fit, I mean, they were just being nice, I guess) during college (that didn't happen of course, lol, tbh I didn't put much effort and due to various external factors, as well as my low self-esteem and insecurity, couldn't really pursue romance during those years),

Once I reached full adulthood, that all stopped. Slowly, but steadily, it was restricted only among my immediate family, and even they stopped it a while back.

To the point, when I do get that rare praise or acknowledgment, it makes me feel all flustered and uncomfortable, maybe even ashamed, like as if I didn't earn or deserve it. But simultaneously, I also get an emotional high from those remarks.

I'm not expecting or wishing to be bombarded by constant adoration or compliments, everyday. Honestly, at one point, when I was a teenager, when my Dad was doing it (pinching my cheeks, when I was 15-16 years or so), I felt uncomfortable, patronized/infantilized (though I did not and still do not feel this way when I receive hugs, pats, or rubs on my shoulder or back). He stopped it once he realized I didn't like it.

My mom, otoh, fully stopped with the PDAs once I reached puberty, same with my elder sibling. Our family is a bit prudish with displays of PDAs with the opposite genders, honestly, so that's something we didn't do with one another (hugs, rubs, peck on cheeks, at most, it was handshake and some mild pats on the hand or shoulder; maybe also why I felt uncomfy when Dad showed it to me but not to my sibling, though Mom also didn't/doesn't do PDAs with my sister too). This extends to our cousins and relatives, naturally (I mean, if having PDAs with immediate blood seemed awkward/uncomfy for my fam, imagine with cousins and extended family then),

I'm not also trying to blame anyone. This is more of a reflection, a journal.... something that I've felt for a long time, but kept with myself for years since I became a full, legal adult (in my late-20s right now), but had no place else to share this.

I guess, I took all those attention for granted, prior to my adulthood. Compliments, nowadays, are rare, akin to an oasis in a desert. Be it on my appearance, my abilities, my talents, or just in general...and if I do get attention, it's on surface level, cookie-cutter question like when I'm getting married or what I'm doing with my job/career,

I wonder if this is normal for all adults, or if it's only a men's issue, as in women still get complimented a healthy deal, or even most other men too, while maybe to a lesser extent than women, still receive them. Me having ended up in a situation right now where I am a total nobody, to the point my existence or lack thereof wouldn't make any difference to the world or to anyone (including my parents, I 100% feel they'll be fine, maybe even better without me) and my aforementioned shyness and thus, not being in touch with most of my relatives, friends, or associates, and thus, it's exclusively a "me" issue?

Maybe an adult man being shy is seen as a bad thing? Since that's traditionally regarded as a feminine virtue? Women being shy aren't seen in a bad way, I suppose, maybe it's even seen as a good thing if they exhibit that trait.

In my observation, pre-pubescent boys being shy is near-universally seen as something adorable and endearing, nobody really gets the "creeps" or bad vibes from them due to that (unless if the kid is particularly weird or unusual, like I dunno, Aiden from the Ring horror movies, but for the most part, shyness in boys is something that's adored/endeared, usually).

Even teenage/adolescent boys being shy/withdrawn still are looked in an endearing way - just someone who's navigating his teenage phase and all the hormonal-induced alterations and thoughts and the development of more complex feelings and personality/character, in a platonic sense, by the grownups. And in a "dark, aloof, brooding, and mysterious, thus interesting" way in a romantic sense by his fellow teenage girls who might have a crush on him or simply think he's adorable/cute precisely for that?

But, fully adult men being this way is perhaps, perceived as a red flag? Maybe it gives off an implication to others that something's wrong with him for him to be this way, and thus it repulses people away, both in a platonic as well as in a romantic sense? In a way, it's the inverse of when they were pre-pubescent boys? Only few women and folks find that "quirky and interesting", in the case of grown men?

Maybe shyness is seen as a character flaw, particularly for men? Something that needs to be rectified and not be on display visually or personality-wise, or at the very least, be under control, after a certain age? When shyness necessarily doesn't need to be a bad thing and even can be regarded as a virtue? (being painfully shy to the point of crippling one's life, is a different story altogether, that said)

(In fairness, I'm not as shy as how I was in my teenage years, this is due to having gotten over my self-consciousness, somewhat. Though, I'm still a shy person, as per most "normal" folks, I guess).

Or maybe people are just being considerate and empathetic by giving shy adult men (and teenagers) the "room" to process and deal with their thoughts at their own pace? Since they don't want to come across as "intrusive" or "nosy" and probably feel that them showing concern might make these men uncomfortable? Besides this, adults have a degree(s) of autonomy (regardless of their financial status) compared to minors, and they're merely honoring that?