my metamorphosis: leaving kibbe behind

I've been on my style journey for about a year and a half. those of you that are newer may not know me since I stopped following the sub a while ago. those of you who recognize me may not like me. regardless, I wanted to write a retrospective on my journey.

my background: i never had a solid female figure in my life to teach me style, and it was something that I thought of as vain and not worth my time. after high school, I went to a trade school run by the government. it was strict and militaristic. there was a strict dress code which was enforced at all times. I'm not exactly great with authority, but I'm also good at not getting in trouble. I started experimenting with my hair as a small form of allowed self-expression. barrettes in pride flag colors (taboo there), braids, and dramatic fringe.

the program gives you an allowance for clothes when you graduate. I had entered the program as a teenager and was graduating as an adult. I was completely lost as to what to do and how to dress as an adult. this is when I turned to the internet for advice. the advice I had found at first was the "ideal style for women," meaning "timeless," "elegant," "modest," and "feminine." trying to adhear to these rules made me feel...bad. and I felt like there was something wrong with me for not "getting it." I also started feeling insecure in my body for the first time due to the fruit body system. I remember trying on a lacy white dress for the first time with a pit in my stomach about my "narrow hips."

I continued to try to learn. I eventually stumbled upon ellie-jean royden's video on zyla. from there, I dove into style systems. I found this subreddit and soon settled on being a dramatic. I read the book, interacted with the community, and had decided that this was the answer I was looking for. kibbe was in direct opposition to the previous style rules I had been learning, and my ID made sense for me.

to be honest, though, I was faking it until I made it. I was trying desperately to learn and understand with all of the conflicting information being shared by so-called reliable sources. I concluded that I was just not going to be able to understand the system without being in strictly kibbe and reading the upcoming book.

I became friends with folks in the community, and it changed everything for me. I realized that I wasn't the problem. seeing the system objectively revealed its flaws, and, in my opinion, a poorly thought through execution. people sharing their opinions as factual with the authority of being mods or verified clients were not actually reliable sources. these people were the ones convincing me I was wrong. another big eye-opener was realizing that a very large amount of people on the sub had probably mistyped themselves.

I got tired of waiting to be let into SK. I dove into learning the origins of the kibbe system. I discovered that david had attended a couple classes from the founder of Personal Style Consultants before creating his system. from this, I started learning and unlearning misinformation about mcjimsey, munsell, caygill, zyla, and kitchener. i found these systems to be much better thought through without suffering from the same limitations of the kibbe system.

I also witnessed this community bully and harass each other. I was subject to abusive behavior by people double my age. I witnessed david ghost clients that had paid thousands of dollars to see him. I understand that this is a kibbe subreddit, and I don't intend to air out all of my grievances with the system. please do not defend this random guy and tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about. I have seen how the sausage gets made, and I'm no longer interested in eating said sausage. you will be wasting your time.

what did i get from kibbe? the general silhouette recommendation for dramatics is my most flattering look, and I love all of the old hollywood verified dramatics as muses.

what am I doing instead? people here do not give rita her proper due. exploring my style logic has given me permission to be myself, regardless of outside influences. I am so happy now. it has been leagues more helpful than kibbe ever was. I have never felt insecure about my body in rita's system like I had with kibbe. I also casually use style roots while I'm shopping as it gives me a guideline for what will go well with the rest of my wardrobe.

kitchener has taken over for the typology part of brain. his system is so much better defined, in my opinion. balanced yin/yang, elongated yin and yang, moderate yin and yang, and small-scale yin and yang. this is much easier to comprehend than a system that's neither a body typing system nor an essence system with an imbalance of yin and yang dominant types. but i am not here to debate this. we can have different opinions. please don't accuse me of just "not getting it."

I am officially over kibbe. the relationship i have with this subreddit is bad for my mental health as it just causes me to needlessly argue with people. you can call me delusional, dramatic, whatever. I wouldn't be a true regal lady if everyone liked me.

I would like to shout out my favorite members of the community. you guys can find me on r/RitaFourEssenceSystem and r/JohnKitchener.

thank you u/its_givinggg for always keeping it real. I'm happy for your journey, and I always admired your style and sense of humor.

thank you u/LightIsMyPath for always being wholesome and kind.

thank you u/eleven57pm for your consistently fantastic analysis! I'm so excited for your kitchener journey!

thank you to the friends I've made. you know who you are. I am so grateful for you guys.

thank you ellie-jean royden for initially inspiring me to dress in a way that is authentic to me. while we have differing interpretations of every style system, i find everything you've done with style and your business so inspiring as someone as young as I am.

and, finally, thank you kibbe for providing me a way to meet my friends and discover my personal essence and personal style, even if the kibbe system was not what did it for me. I'm still a regal lady at heart.

p.s. is anyone going to fix lauren bacall being listed as the prime D instead of joan crawford in the wiki? it's been like a year lmfao