Wallahi crushes are evil
Ama ni mimi nilikuwa fala? Anyway here goes:
It's 2014. I've just been transferred to another school (because walimu were against me in my previous 3 schools, but that's a story for another day). So there's this girl in form 3 I just kinda noticed in my second week. It was love (lust/infatuation?) at first sight. She's basically a Greek goddess(not Medusa). But I'm a marked man at this point (my guardian literally had to swear to the principal that I wouldn't repeat what happened at my previous three schools in that school). So I'm just there to do my KCSE and leave.
But a man will always find a way, so I ensured I joined two clubs that this girl was in, so as to get a chance to talk kidogo kidogo. I establish contact over the two terms, alafu in term 3 si I just finished and left. But I made sure that she knew namtaka. Anyway, after mimi kumaliza, it took time (years) ndio tupatane tena.
- We meet again at the funeral of one of my former classmates from that same school. The moment I saw her again, all the grief I had for my deceased friend evaporated like Arsenal's trophy hopes. We exchange numbers and I swear to myself that I won't lose contact. So si we are just chatting, long phone calls, how have you been, catching up koso koso. Ananishow ako Kisii University.
We set a meeting for March of 2020, the same weekend the first covid case was announced in Kenya. Si mimi huyoo, niko kwa transline naenda Kisii on 18th March. I land, and I'm given the welcome Achilles got back in the Greek camp after killing Hector in the Trojan war.
Wacha usiku ifike. Kumbe gaidi ilikuwa inanyesha, and she just let me come without knowing. I was still too repulsed by blood at that time to even consider playing in the rain. I thought angemaliza after two/three days nipate angalau tone moja la maji ya uzima before going back home but alas! The lady was one of those who see the moon for 5 days. I went back home with my dick harder than I arrived, 4 days later, after waiting in vain. On my journey back, my phone was also stolen kwa stage.
A few months later, December, started talking once more. I guess I hadn't learned my lesson. "My crush" was now in a rift valley town akifanya internship. Tuliongea tena na kupanga meet, but this time, alikuwa akuje kwangu. She said hana fare, ngui ikatuma fare na mia nne juu ya snacks akitravel. Alafu story za jaba zikaanza. At around the time she was due to arrive, nilijaribu kuangalia dp sikuona.
Wacha tu niseme initoke. Wallahi I'm never crushing on anybody anymore, I told myself 5 years ago.