I’m incredibly attracted to the 45+old man and 20+young guy/woman sexual dynamic and it’s ruining my life

I’ll try to summarise and update with info as needed. I’m a younger gay male and have been attracted to older men ever since I hit puberty. My father is no longer in my life and I had a bad childhood because of him. He was a psychologically-abusive psychopath and alcoholic. Now to get to the point, the manlier and rougher the man, the more attracted I am (think bricklayers and blue-collar-workers) and if he is balding (not shaven, but having the horseshoe hair) it’s making me go wild (my father doesn’t fit this profile). I’m always looking for men of this type everywhere around me and i’m in a constant state of arousal. I’ve been in a committed relationship with someone that does not fit the description for the past 10 years (Dan) and have cheated on him emotionally with an older man (John) that fits it 2 years ago. With a lot of difficulty I’ve managed to call it quits with John and here I am, 2 years later still thinking of him a few times a week. Dan is my second half in everything but sexual compatibility and I love him dearly, hurting him is out of the question.

I’ve been masturbating even 7-8 times a day thinking about and looking at porn showcasing the dynamic in the title. The idea of someone younger being used by an older man drives me crazy. I want and need to satisfy their sexual needs. I feel like this is related to the anima-animus interaction but I cannot put my finger on it.

Whenever I even read randomly about something like this I start breathing heavily and get a feeling of tightness in my chest. I could say i’m feeling jealousy.

Help. This is ruining my life.