The Artist's Way - Having a hard time filling the three 'Morning Pages'

Hello all! Happy to be here in this wonderful community! You all seem like awesome persons! I'm a Musician/Music Producer of 14 years. Music is my language, my love, and my passion! The thing is that I tend to make solely instrumentals with maybe three songs in my entire life with lyrics. other music communities have implored that I add lyrics and vocals to my instrumentals, and I have to agree.

I've dealt with depression, anxiety, and most likely some kind of personality for even longer than my time with music. It's gotten really bad all of 2024, which is when I was kindly recommended "The Artist Way" and to do the morning pages. I felt it to be a wonderful suggestion, so I gave it a try.

It's a struggle for me just to fill out even one whole page. Most of it is depressive ramblings, which is fine, but that's all I can put out now. It's like I have nothing to say other than how miserable, anxious, or devoid of hope I am. It feels like I'm saying the same things over and over; I can just tell without even having to go back to previous pages. I've even started "cheating" with a smaller notebook with fewer lines, which I feel bad about.

2024 was an entire year of struggles with finding the right meds and finding and keeping a job for longer than a month. I feel like it all is heavily contributing to the feeling of being stifled in having anything to say in the morning pages.

Maybe someone has advice or has been in my shoes and can tell me what you did to get past this feeling of being stuck. Thank you everyone for any and all input! It means the stars and constellations to me!