Almost 5 years married and every day I keep wondering how I can leave

I've had many issues in my marriage. Especially the first 3 years caused me many mental health issues. While my husband and his parents are nice people, they can be rather high handed and unconventional in some ways. My husband also has controlling and judgemental tendencies and anger issues. His elder brother has lived with us from the start of the marriage under the pretext of finding a job and hasn't moved out even 4.5 years later. I'm given no information about his moving out or his finances. My husband gets upset I don't discuss children while refusing to admit that this living situation has caused friction.

We are visiting India and I realize that I'm happiest when he's not around. He's funny and cracks jokes but once that's over there's a side of him I don't like dealing with. I don't understand why but I feel miserable in this marriage. I've tried everything to understand why.