Starting to kinda lose hope

I think it has been 5 months since this started with a 1 month relieve in November, it has become really bad. Little to no anxiety, mostly not, thoughts still there and it feels I would like them or at least that I wouldn’t mind, the thought of a naked woman or women in general seems like are not an interest anymore, couldn’t get hard with female porn, I tried to check if I found some women attractive but I couldn’t say more than “yeah they’re good looking I guess”. I feel also burnt out, very few energy. It’s like I have to accept that I’m gay and just come out, but I don’t want to, I want to be straight because that’s what I really am, I always liked girls, I want to be like before, before I didn’t have any gay thoughts or doubts, God I was so fucking confident about being straight and doing “gay stuff” like acting gay with my friends was just a lot of fun. Now I can’t literally do anything that my brain says that I’m gay when I’m not. I want this to end, I want to be straight like before, feeling like this is awful.