never felt realer

in the begining, even before i knew about hocd, when this started and i had all of the thoughts its like i knew deep inside of me that im a straight girl and that i always liked and will like guys... i dont think this is the case anymore. cuz its just feels the other way around, with all these groinals and false attraction and salivation, i cant stop feeling like im so deep in denial, its like now i know that im a lesbian but wont accept it. even tho i cant imagine myself in a romantic relationtship with a woman, it just doesnt feel right, but all the groinals and the fact that i never had a boyfriend and that i was kinda of a tomboy in my tweens, it just feels like im really obviously in denial.

idk do other women with hocd feel this way?