I fell apart again after 7 days

My grandad died on Christmas Day. I’m so thankful we came on the 23rd so we could at least see him. He died bc of kidney failure and near the end the doctors told him he had a blood infection but he didn’t tell us. But anyways, his funeral was the 30th and I cried but not as much as I expected and I broke down at the end after the party to my parents.

Today, I don’t know why but the whole day I was thinking only about him again and about half an hour ago I decided to scroll through his Facebook page (which obviously made me sob 10x worse) ESPECIALLY when I saw the pics of him being healthy. I just sobbed uncontrollably and still am while typing this. The convo on Facebook between him and my mom broke me because she made a post in 2015 how she was angry and couldn’t wait to leave and he commented. “And what about your guardian angel?” And she replied “dad, you will always be my guardian angel 💗” and idk.

I don’t know why I keep scrolling through the Facebook page or why I randomly decided to cry about him when I haven’t since the funeral. I don’t even know what flair to put this under.