I actually don't think Dean was manipulative..... Until lindsay.

Ok. expect S.poilers for every season

I'm writing this not from Rory's perspective, or the viewers perspective, but as a fellow writer to sort of deconstruct the constructions of Dean's character and the plot.

I actually don't think Dean was this manipulative conniving dictator who wanted control over Rory 24/7, I just think the Palladinos weren't teenagers for a very long time at the time of writing the show.

He does a lot of these over the top, romantic gestures (the car, the bracelet, whatever) that I think were more to help the watcher fall in love with him. It's a common tactic that a lot of romance books use today. Cause who wouldn't want this attractive, 6 foot giant man to read the books you like and fix your car (idk, I'm a dude, I've got no idea what people saw in him) and I feel like people bring up some of the most benign moments to show that he was toxic prior to Lindsay.

Example, the scene where he says pop instead of soda and he's like "well people in chicago call it pop". People say he had this temper in that scene when he actually wasn't being that bad?

Now I'm not going to ignore Dean's temper. Dean is absolutely terrifying, and he absolutely had a temper. That makes a terrifying person, but given the fact that Rory knew Luke would probably k*ll dean if anything happened to her, I think she felt safe (we never talk about Luke's temper???) I'm not going to confirm that, but he wasn't written to be abusive or domineering, those scenes with his temper were supposed to show how protective he was of Rory and how much he loved her.

(also take note of how they weren't put in a position of husband and wife, they don't have their own home, they're not in a dynamic where they are legally tied together and the community is expecting something from them. Rory is backed by that community)

I'm not going to say that Rory was not in a position to be hurt in that situation. Abuse can happen anywhere no matter where someone is in life, there are just typical situations where it is able to happen *more*

Of course when we look at it with a more modern perspective (yes, yes, "it was only 19 years ago the final episode air" just stay with me now before you nitpick) you notice that it comes off as domineering, and terrifying.

One scene that I do side eye a bit was the scene at the formal where the guy from One Tree Hill confronts dean and Dean literally says he'll kill him. That does make me side eye him and wonder what the writer's intentions are because... that's a little cray cray.

Dean was always meant to be a realistic character (even if some of his actions don't seem realistic. cough cough, car three months into a relationship) He has his flaws, he has his good parts. He grew, and all of it affected his relationship.

One scene that get's brought up more often is the car scene, and people say that he was love bombing her. Well, maybe. Love bombing happens when one person suddenly drops a whole bunch of affection, presents, whatever at one time in order to keep that person coming. It can usually come off as out of character. I could argue that Dean was not very out of character, he read Rory's books, supposedly took her out on dates. And as many people mentioned on my other post was that in small town america, gifting a rebuilt car was pretty normal. (So I've heard, I'm not a trusted source)

Him getting mad at Rory for not saying "I love you" back was not him being manipulative. It was a genuine reaction that he might've grown up to expect. He obviously grew up in a semi traditional household. (Mother makes dinner, father helps build cars, blue collar, two kids) that kind of life, he'd learned to expect something from Rory. Not only that, but it was most likely a narrative tool to help the plot move forward. (I say narrative tool only because literally anything in a story is a narrative tool to help the plot move forward. Don't test me) It was less about dean and more about Rory's failure to communicate.

However, Lindsay is a whole other beast.

Dean was a hundred percent manipulative with both Rory and Lindsay. At first he was just violating Lindsay's personal boundaries, being rude to lindsay, lying to lindsay about his relationship with Rory was a hundred percent manipulative.

Hell, his relationship with Rory during that time is manipulative.

I'm not going to deny the fact that Rory slept with Dean while he was married but I think we should review the fact that Dean insinuated that Lindsay and Dean were already putting the work in to get divorced.

"But dean...Lindsay."

Rory tries to stop him from going any further and Dean says that it's not working out, both him and lindsay feel it and then I don't remember much after that. Dean continues to practically place the blame of his affair on Rory,

"Actually Rory I feel a little stupid, I was married."

Yeah, you were dude, so why lie to a girl and repeatedly get her to sleep with you?

Anyway, my post is a bit long so i'm going to end it there.