Just engaged; I might want kids, my fiance never wants kids

First of all, I’m absolutely terrified. There is a lot that goes into this. I’m 25 F and he is 27 M. He’s never wanted kids and I never have either until recently time with my nephews has made me see the possibility.

He is the love of my life, I mean that. He helps me see the world in a different light and I love who I am with him.

I have been married before at 19 and it was very short and abusive… so this could just be mostly fear talking.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t actively want kids (if he asked to try this year, or even in the next 5 years, I’d say hell no). But, I am scared I’ll change my mind in our marriage and we will have to get divorced.

I might have relationship OCD, this could be my new disaster thing. But the idea of us breaking up TERRIFIES me.

I am also kind of lonely in my life right now, maybe I am thinking about kids in a selfish way. Idk. But I am just so scared and can’t get anything done because I am thinking about it.