Debating just like everyone else. I don’t feel excited about kids.

I’m 32F married for 6 years to my 32M husband. We are both total fence sitters. We haven’t done a ton of traveling in our relationship so far because we’ve been very active with starting and running businesses, but our work life is finally getting to a point to where we are going to have more flexibility and money to travel. So that feels like my biggest priority now. But, realistically, if we want kids, we would not want to wait too terribly long. So this is my struggle.

I have several cons.

  • I’m honestly not a huge kid person. I do love my nephew (3 years old) and we see him every couple weeks. But when we leave, I don’t think to myself that I wish we weren’t leaving him, if that makes sense? But overall just not a super big kids person. I’m just indifferent toward them mostly.

  • I tend to feel “trapped” easily. I had a big problem with that when I first got married - but then realized I could always divorce him if I needed to (I don’t want to and I love my husband very much, to be clear lol.). But there isn’t an escape option with kids.

  • I don’t want to join the bitter, exhausted parent club. I also don’t want to join the “holier than thou, my life is more valid than yours” mom club.

  • I know this sounds weird but it almost feels like deciding to have kids would be “losing” or giving in.

  • I like my life the way it is and don’t feel an urge for it to change.

  • I have this feeling I could do more to change the world around me if I wasn’t zeroed in on my own kids.

  • I’m worried about the stress it’d put on my relationship with my husband. Having ran a business together, we have been through stress together and it has made us stronger. But a baby is a whole different ball game.

The main pros I see:

  • I like the idea of having adult children, even if they aren’t around all the time. I have a very good relationship with my mom, and I’d love to have that with children when I’m her age.

  • we have a flexible schedule that would allow us to be with the kids a lot and do a lot of cool things with them.

  • I do think I’d be a good mom, and I think my husband would be a good dad. I feel like we’d raise good humans. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve done a lot of work on myself.

-EDIT: another pro, I do think there are things about child raising that sound fun and fulfilling. Showing them how cool the world is when they’re little and beyond, helping them navigate awkward teenage relationships, etc.

I just feel stuck. I know I don’t need to make a decision yet but any insight would be helpful.