"Who will care for you when you're older?!"

I rarely post on Reddit, but have been actively reading this community for many months now.

I'm 35F, married to a man who is very open to kids, but ultimately respects my choice and feels he's flexible.

Over the last year Ive felt a serious desire for children, I've spent most of my adult life being certain that I wasn't going to have or ever want kids, it simply was not something I ever wanted or associated with a happy future.

But the desire has grown in me recently, I find myself thinking about a life where I have a child to raise and give the world to, to experience life through their eyes. My parents didn't give me much and they've become dependents of me almost as long as I was a dependant of theirs. Neither have stable incomes, places to live, and certainly never in a position to help me make adult decisions. I feel them as a burden most of the time tbh. I think this subconsciously turned me off of kids.

As I start to consider having kids more seriously, my 90 year old grandparents have had a number of health issues in their old age: my grandma has fast developing dementia and my grandpa has had a number of issues that led to a terminal cancer diagnosis and only has a few months left.

I watch their kids, aka my dads siblings, really band together to take care of their parents (my dad's a black sheep that isn't really doing anything but that's another story). They had a stable and fruitful upbringing, and you can see them doing everything within their power to care for their parents as they approach the end of their lives. It's kind of beautiful to watch, there's so much love, and the next steps for my grandparents rest in the hands of their adult children. Thankfully, number of them are very capable and are working very hard to give them the age-related care they deserve. I think a lot about my grandma being alone once my grandpas gone and how much she'll be relying on her kids. She will need them and they will be there.

I've been asked " who will take care of you when you're old?" And I thought well, I'm saving a lot of money, I plan to have a good retirement and have money set aside to pay qualified people to care for me as I age.

...But if I was in my grandma's shoes, no husband and limited cognitive function, even with all the financial resources, she still needs someone to point her in the right direction. If it were me, all I would would I want is my family, not a stranger to hire.

Is proper care in your old age The reason you should have kids? No. Who's to say your kids will even help out?! But as I watch the end of my grandparents life unfold, I realize it's much more important of a factor than I gave credit to in the past.

I just wanted to share my thoughts. I know this is a common topic in this sub but would love to hear everyone's thoughts.