Needed to let it out

I’m hurting so bad. My fiance left me two months ago when I was 4 months pregnant. I’m now at the point where I’ve gone to my doctor appointments alone, the baby is moving and it’s so hard experiencing this alone without him. He’s reached out once or twice to see how the health of baby is doing but it was insincere. I haven’t responded due to his reactions on social media. He’s posted hurtful things about me online and has been partying consistently and posting his new hook ups online. I know I need to stop watching his social medias but I can’t.

I feel so abandoned. I feel so hurt. I feel so confused. How can a man make a commitment to me with a ring and a baby then just completely disappear and become totally heartless. Our relationship wasn’t perfect by any means, we had our issues. I’ve been in therapy, going to church, etc. But it’s been hard. I am proud of myself for keeping him blocked on social media and not texting him at all because of the way he’s hurt me and now my only focus is protecting my peace for baby and I…

I just really want some perspective about his point of view. Does he care about the baby and I? Does he think of us? Does he miss us? Did he ever love us or was it all a fraud? I am so hurt and can’t stop thinking about what he’s thinking. How can he sleep around and date other women knowing I’m growing his baby alone by myself suffering? It feels so unfair. I thought he loved me. I thought he was going to be my husband.

I’m at the place where I would never be in a relationship with him ever again, I’ve came to terms with he is not the person for me. But I am so hurt by his actions and so confused I keep finding myself wanting clarity.