I'm going to cut off my parents

Nothing particularly bad has happened in the last few months with them. I'm away at college. I spent the summer at home with my parents, both alcoholics and it caused me to relapse with drinking pretty badly.

In these past few days, leading up to going home for the holidays, I have been more anxious than ever. I feel like im losing progress with my healing every single time I go back, home, and im tired of taking care of them.

The only reason I go home, is because I have two brothers there. They're 16 and 18, and I want them to have a somewhat stable figure in their life. Im also incredibly close with the younger one.

I know its a bad time, with the holidays being right here, but I dont want to go back home, possibly ever. I'm seriously considering a FaceTime call with them both tomorrow. Outlining the anxiety that going home causes me, the cruelty that my dad has put me through my whole life, and the lying my mom has done to downplay both of their addictions. I assume this won't blow over well, I assume this will crush their hearts, I assume they'll be pissed at me, but I am so tired of putting their feelings above my own. I am financially secure enough that I take care of all of my own bills, with the exception of my phone plan but that's small. I just posted this in the r/adultchildren sub, but I figured posting here would be helpful too.

I need some advice for tomorrow, please.