hating features you find attractive on yourself because they make you "fat"

i know i'm probably not the only one who experiences this, so i wanted to open up a discussion about it.

i find tummy chub, soft jaws, squishy arms and legs, etc to be VERY attractive. i've been single for a while and it's turned me into a bit of a dog, so that's amplified right now even. and yet despite that, i originally started losing weight because i noticed those features on myself and had a huge freak out. even though i find those features to be super appealing in romantic partners, and just aesthetically pleasing in general, when it's on me, it's disgusting and fat and uncontrolled. the disconnect between how i view my body vs. how i view others is insane. does anybody else have experiences like this?