How do you change to CHANGE, instead of to HEAL.....Feels like im lying to myself

Im rewatching testimonials and it seems everyone says they healed when they stopped focusing on healing, and focused on CHANGING.

These were people with debilitating conditions, tough circumstances, etc. Wouldn't they go into a meditation knowing they're doing all this work to heal or change some situation in their life? Like, yes, they know that their thoughts affect their body, so they know they have to change the way they think and are in order for the healing to happen. But im talking about their DESIRE to heal underneath it all. Isn't that the driving force?

Intellectually, I understand what everyone means by changing to change, but I feel phony when applying. Like, Im still WANTING to heal but also wanting to change at the same time.

I want to change to change, but somewhere deep in my subconscious that little blip or fragment of a thoought comes that "well i also really want to heal" or "and when i change i can heal"