[1459] Cursed
Hi guys! I've lurked around this subreddit for a while, and I figured I'd give it a go with a snippet of my own story!
It's a horror mystery book centered in rural Indonesia, where a journalist investigates the disappearance of 847 villagers in the coast of Sumatra. Most of the book takes place in the form of interviews and I consider it an epistolary novel, so take a pass if you hate reading through oodles of dialogue.
The good news this is like, half of the first chapter, so it's a pretty fast read!
Here's the link to the first part: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z78IUY9kaECwMo53ZWNgYN-GsWdRTFS7vGRfsNLbcIo/edit?usp=sharing
Some feedback that I think would be useful:
- Does the setting feel realistic/as a non-Indonesian, are you able to understand the story even with the footnotes? Should I dial it back a bit?
- Do the characters feel cartoony or are their reactions too strong/passive for their situation?
- Was the story interesting enough for you to consider reading, or was the first page too boring? If so, what failed?
My critiques for the mods:
[1040] Touch Grass (title pending)
Anyway, I hope y'all have a nice day/night, and I'd love to hear your feedback!