Sketchiest King Soopers?

I want to thoroughly enjoy my shopping experience! I want terrible parking, people hawking items they’ve stolen out front, I want spit, piss, blood, scat! I want some panhandlers! I want to be accosted by at least 4 petitioners before I even get inside to a wobbly cart.

I want the worst selection, needles and discarded shoplifted packaging in the bathroom, a sink so sketchy I’m afraid to touch it or I’ll get scabies.

Give me the worst customer service, security guards that watch you check out then ask you for your receipt without asking please even though they damn well know you have it and legally don’t have to show it to them.

I want Walmart level produce. People driving the wrong way at me in the parking lot.

Yeah give me your sketchiest!