I feel stupid and lost.

I just turned 22 and I feel like I’m going downhill. I moved in with my bf of a year, sporadically after he asked if I wanted to. It was a tough situation living with my best friend, and I always wanted to move to the state he lived in. Not to mention, I thought I fell really hard for him.

Things were pretty good. His family..oh my lord his family..accepted me like I was already part of them. While a bit crazy and out there, I learned to love them and they’ve been nothing about amazing. I was truly lucky. My boyfriend, he’s not a terrible person. Just someone who has done not-so-good things. He isn’t over a break up he went through three years ago. And I found out he was talking to another girl and whatnot. I was heartbroken, but became angry after a while. I don’t have my own family here, so I never confronted him. I decided, I was going to save up my money and move back down to where I used to with some roommates/friends.

Well, I guess the universe is good at pushing for helping us out because he admitted a few nights ago he wasn’t capable of loving someone else and he straight up said he tried, but doesn’t love me. I mean, I knew that. I told him too. But I guess it hurt him so much to have to keep it from me that he’s kind of just distant.

I should have left when I found out he was talking to someone else. That’s where I went wrong. I thought I was being smart by just waiting it out so I can get my shit together and have the stability to leave. But now here I am, heartbroken over someone who never loved me.

I’m 22..I’m still so young and I spent a year with him. I feel so lost and just..sad. I know with time I’ll heal and move on. But when you’re still living with him with currently no where to go..it’s so hard.