Reddit blew up over this...

I posted about this in another Christian subreddit because this situation has been weighing on me for over a week, and I’m still not sure what to make of it.

Basically, I reached out to a pastor in December during a really, really dark time. I'd never normally do something like this. I’d been to his church a few times, but I mostly watched the services online. He seemed trustworthy, so I ended up confiding in him about the mental health issues and suicidal thoughts I’d been having. I made it clear that I didn’t have a plan or any intention to go through with it. He told me I could call him anytime if I was struggling. He even said his wife knows he gets calls like that often, so it wouldn’t be an issue.

We met in his office at the church once, which people already said was a mistake. I’m 31 and single, and while we weren’t alone in the building (his secretary was down the hall), we were alone in the room. Honestly, I didn’t feel weird or uncomfortable about it. He was on one couch, I was on another, and the conversation stayed respectful and appropriate.

After that, we started texting every day. Most of the time, he initiated it. Things like hope your day is going well, how are you, etc. At the time, I assumed he was just concerned for me because of what I’d shared. The texts were casual, friendly—nothing inappropriate or sexual, but probably too familiar for a pastor. He’d say things like I was a blessing, very special to him, and that he cared about me with all his heart. We’d send heart and hug emojis back and forth. Looking back, I can see how the dynamic was not great, but at the time, I didn’t notice. I was lonely and desperate for someone to talk to, and his kindness really helped me out of a dark place. I do feel attached (emotionaly), because of that.

When I posted about this, I got over 200 comments telling me this was inappropriate. Some people said he was grooming me, and some accused me of crossing boundaries. It was embarrassing, and I felt so conflicted. I rededicated my life to God and got baptized at his church two weeks ago. So it's meaningful. I had prayed for God to lead me to a church, and I really thought this was where He wanted me. But now, I don’t know what to think. A few days ago, I stopped responding to his texts while I tried to figure out what to do.

I talked to my mom about it, and she suggested giving him the benefit of the doubt but setting boundaries. I sent him an email saying I wanted to limit our communication to church or email. He was okay with that and so far hasn't tried to contact me, but I still feel uncomfortable about the situation and about going to the church now.

I keep wondering what this all was. A potential scandal waiting to happen? Or did he just see me as a struggling daughter and had poor judgment? Honestly, I’m embarrassed that I may have “imprinted” on him as a father figure. I’d never want to ruin someone’s marriage or ministry, like someone accused me of, but the whole thing just feels messy now.

I don’t know if he had bad intentions or if he was just trying to be caring and didn’t realize how it came across. At the end of the day, even though I look and sound like a kid, I'm still an adult. But I also don’t want to become jaded and assume every nice gesture from a man is inappropriate. I genuinely thought that he was showing love for a hurting stranger towards me like Jesus would.

I’m just not sure what to do or how to approach this biblically. Should I talk to him at church or cut my losses and move on? Forgive me if I'm naive, I'm probably on the spectrum, tbh. 😮‍💨