I’m forced to not go mass

It’s been 3, maybe 4 weeks and I genuinely feel like bashing my head against a brick wall. My soul aches to go mass. However, I come from a Muslim family. My mother found out I was going to mass after 5 weeks of me attending. As much as I tried to explain to her she didn’t care. She values culture over religion so I she still lets me pray my rosary, but she won’t let me go mass. After the first two weeks I haven’t gone, immediately I’ve felt spiritually exhausted and disconnected from God no matter how often I pray or read the Bible. I’ve been thinking of ways to get past it and just go without my parents knowing but with my location on 24/7 and not being able to leave on Sunday mornings, I don’t know how I’ll hold up. Every time I pass by Roman Catholic parishes it makes me teary eyed.