Does anyone else feel personally attacked by their furniture?

I was walking through my living room, minding my own business, when my coffee table decided to introduce itself to my shin. Full-on crash-boom-ow situation. It got me thinking.. is there some secret furniture vendetta I’m unaware of? My couch eats my phone, my bedframe is a toe assassin, and my dining chair squeaks in protest every time I sit.

Please tell me I’m not the only one living in a passive-aggressive haunted house.