"worthless"

I often hear myself think/ say "i hate myself" and "they hate me" and "i'm not worth anything". There's a lot of negative inner talk.

But I'm confused. Because would a person who truly believes they're worthless fight for timely doctor visits? Make time for a healthy breakfast every morning? Cook lunch and dinner to have a healthy diet? Take the time to make healthy smoothies so I don't go hungry no matter how busy it gets? Fight for fair pay? Advocate when something is wrong?

Why is there such a disconnect between how I speak/ think and how I actually treat myself?