Well That Answers It....

The fact that Alyssa and John did not go to TN to celebrate Gill's birthday seals it that they are estranged from the Bates family.

I'm assuming John wouldn't let her go but maybe Alyssa didn't want to go? Who knows the real reason but it's pretty clear that there's a major rift going on.

I feel sorry for the kids. They are the ones who suffer from all of this.