I’m gay, just broke up with my avoidant traumatized and mentally broken bf. Why a person can be so fucked up like this?

We met in late 2023, it was such a beautiful 2 months dating, later we commit to each other and invited me to move to another city with him, because I’m finished my study and only need to write my thesis so I accept this invitation. When we were out we hold each others hands a lot. Until in mid June I wanted to hold his hands and he said he doesn’t want it and I said but we do this a lot. He replied that I only do this only because you need it and I was furious and ask him do you remember that you reached your hands out to me and I didn’t initiate this. Two weeks later he proposed to slow our relationship down, I was stunned, how can we slow it down when we already been together for half a year. and the next half year is just repeating break ups and made ups. mostly he came to me to ask to try it again. He can say I love you, I want you three days ago and later he just told me: I don't love you and don't want you and don't need you. this is so cruel to hear this from someone you loved so much so deep. he repeated this circle for more than 4 times. And every time i have to put my bad feeling aside and start to comforting him and said I will go and then he started to kiss me and hug me and want me back. Finally few days ago after Christmas he told me he need this January to think about his feeling for me. But I found out he got Grindr back(he voluntarily deleted in front of me when I said I’m not feeling ok that you still using it in April, also he’s using tinder to “make new friends” but I know he flirted with many people and ultimately met two guys)

He shared with me a lot of his life stories: No father grow up with mother who keeps remind him to treat her nice stay close to her. His existence is because of her. So he was afraid of losing his mom when he is a kid, later he moved out and had 7 years relationship with his first bf but he concluded as it’s toxic and manipulative because his ex doesn’t love him just used him. In the middle of the relationship he wants to have sex with his ex but his ex told him: Go fuck someone else. He started this messy situation with ex and started to really fuck around. Two years later he ended this and later he left his country and moved to Europe starting a new life.

In short, In the end he told me that he’s broken, he doesn’t know what love is anymore. He doesn’t want relationships he just want to be himself with himself. He doesn’t need anyone, even he knows I can do anything for him and love so much. But just can’t love anymore