Broke up on my birthday

So , it's been more than 6 weeks now. But I still feel horrible. I thought we were gonna marry. We were in a toxic relationship. He (32) was my first boyfriend. I (22) did everything with him. He cheated on me once , but I forgave him. ( I am so stupid) . We had a lot of breakups, but we were still finding ways to comeback. Long story short, I found out he actually has an another girl . He was lying me . When I found out he got scared. ( He thought I was gonna tell everything to that girl) . All of these happened on my birthday. No revenge, because I believe karma will hit him really bad. I just can't feel okay after that day .