Hi im looking for advice

Hi I have a question for poc (specifically black) trans men here. Im 16 and post “I saw the tv glow” Im having my second “oh im (probably) a trans man” moment.

But it’s kinda hard for me to allow myself to fully be the man I know I am. I keep reminding myself that as someone who is perceived as a black woman, the goal of my oppressors is to masculinise me as much as possible. For so much of my life, my main form of rebellion has been living in a constant state of hyper feminineness. It doesn’t make me so uncomfortable it just doesn’t make me as happy as it would to be masculine (apart of my dysphoria is mostly the fact that people see me as a woman in a dress instead of a man in a dress, which, im sure is common).

For a while, I didn’t want to fully transition, also. I thought about how much harder it would be for me to exist as a black man, instead of a black woman. I’ve already navigated the complexities of being a black woman, I know what to expect, but transitioning would mean im living a life navigating new forms of racism. That just seems so tiring.

I know my biggest form of rebellion would be to go “fuck the world!” Disco Elysium style, And do whatever I want. But that just isn’t realistic. My body will always be political whether I like it or not, so I don’t feel like im being too paranoid.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do you navigate the intersection between race and gender? Am I overthinking things? Help

(Cross posted from r/ftm to r/TMPOC because they said this would be a good subreddit)