I am NOT the Original Poster. That is UmericanDreamer. He posted in r/MadeMeSmile.

Thanks to u/TheSmilingDoc and u/Warking223 for the rec!

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old.

Trigger Warnings: fertility issues; discussions of childbirth; mention of a previous miscarriage

Mood Spoiler: a very happy ending!

Original Post: April 5, 2024

TLDR; After almost 18 years, the missus is with child. It has been an emotional rollercoaster the last week. #HOPE Full story below for those interested.

After nearly 18 years, PCOS, Endometriosis, Anemia, surgeries, a miscarriage (12 years ago, less than 4 weeks),hormones, tests, heartache, tears, and thousands of dollars, it finally happened. The missus (35F) and I (40M) had all but given up hope on having a biological child. And it all happened out of the blue.

On Monday of this past week, the missus worked early. Said she got to work, and was feeling a bit “off”. Her lady’s time had been regular for the first time ever for about the last year. She was late a month or so. Decided to take a pregnancy test at lunch, which was positive. Said she was going to wait until she got home to tell me. A few hours later, she began bleeding. She left work and called her sister (who is an RN) who said she was probably miscarrying and gave her advice on what to do. She came home. I could tell she was distraught, and when she told me, I was totally gobsmacked. Felt like a totally cruel joke that she would find out that she was pregnant and then start miscarrying hours later. On April Fools Day no less.

The next morning, she made an appointment with a Doctor we had been to previously. The appointment was for today (Friday). So the whole week, we are both dreading that day. It was like a black cloud over our home, making everything dark and gray. It put us both in a bad place. I am rather ignorant of a lot of things concerning female anatomy and pregnancy, and had major panic over what she might have to physically endure. DNC? Surgery? Knowing that mentally, she felt “less than” a woman for not being able to carry a child. I have hardly slept a wink in days.

We went in this morning and they started with an ultrasound. As soon as that little bean showed on the monitor, I saw a little flicker of rhythmic light flashing. Seeing that little heartbeat took my breath away. For the first time in my life, I bawled in front of my wife and a stranger.

To make a long story short, she is almost 7 weeks along. The doctor said Momma and the baby are fine. Nothing that had occurred up to this point was uncommon. He also stated that if the baby makes it to 12 weeks our chances increase greatly. We had went to this appointment expecting sad news and left that office today with the greatest amount of hope we have had in a long time.

I know a lot of women suffer with many of the same issues my wife has had. At one point, a different doctor had said it was highly unlikely that she would have a viable pregnancy at all. I know we are not out of the woods just yet, but I feel it in these old bones that our time is now. Even if this little bean doesn’t make it to a full blown human, it is still possible. There is hope. In the meantime, I am gonna pamper the shit out of my blue eyed girl.

Sonogram Pic

Some of OOP's Comments:

Commenter: So happy for you!! Made me tear up. Please give an update at 12 weeks.

OOP: I have ugly cried intermittently all day. I have never been more grateful in my entire life.
(to another commenter):
Words can not adequately describe my feelings and emotions at this time. All I know is that this baby will receive everything I have in me to ensure that they have the happiest and best life possible.

Commenter: This is so so so so SO sweet. Congrats dad!! Sounds like your kiddo is going to be so so so loved and already is so so so love d

OOP: I have went from hugging and kissing my wife to rubbing, hugging, and kissing her belly. And she is so radiant right now that she is glowing. I just can’t even right now!

OOP responds to someone who summarizes the "controversial comments" on the post:

[editor's note- this came up several times in comments so I figured I'd put it here]

Commenter: (summary of controversial comments for OOP to answer)

• 18 Years of trying because god forbid you raise a kid that isn't biologically yours
• Thousands of dollars spent and access to the best medicine, but all congratulations to the ejaculator
• A 22 year old fornicated with a 17 year old
• A 23 year old fornicated with an 18 year old, but still...yikes

OOP: (downvoted)
-What is wrong with wanting a child that you share DNA with, who looks like you?
-Thousands of dollars spent on the most rudimentary fertility treatments available at a US hospital. 1/10 would not recommend. Was quoted $15K cash in late 2019 for 1 IVF treatment, with no guarantee. Your assertion that the U.S. healthcare in the south is the best is laughable.
-18 and a 22 year old from the same neighborhood with similar backgrounds and experiences. Don’t see the problem. Apparently some people do. Your opinion is noted.

Update Post: May 14, 2024 (1 month and 1 week later)

My original post garnered far more views and comments than my wife and I could have ever imagined. The outpouring of support and well wishes meant so, so much. Original Post can be viewed here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/1bx1oyr/comment/kyf1y6y/

Myself (40M) and my wife (35F) had our 12 week doctor visit today as my wife is currently 12 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I am happy to report that Momma and baby are perfectly happy and healthy to this point! Doctor remains optimistic and has been incredibly supportive in dealing with some of the concerns and anxieties that the missus and I have both had.

This whole experience has been the best kind of overwhelming. I had lost hope for the future in the last couple of years. With sudden deaths, familial break ups, and life problems, there had been many nights that I prayed the lord to take me as I was too much of a coward to do it myself. And now. Now, I have rediscovered the fire and drive of my youth. I am bound and determined to give this child a happy life. I can’t wait to show and teach them the things that I was never taught or told. I am bound to continue on improving my health so that I have a better shot at making it far into their adulthood. My number 1 goal in life now is to someday unleash this kid out into the world educated, confident, empathetic, understanding, compassionate, happy and kind. I love them so much already. November can’t get here fast enough.

One of OOP's Comments:

Commenter: Idk if it helps, but I was born to my parents after 18 years of them trying. And I turned out okay haha. Sometimes my mom questions herself for any small thing that happens to me. But I try to reassure her that it's not her fault. So I hope both of you don't blame yourselves in case your child goes through something and just support them wholeheartedly :D

OOP: This has been my concern and will probably worry me until they develop as a toddler. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any concerns due to my and her advanced ages. To, our credit, we are both young for our ages so hopefully that is on our side.

Update Post 2: July 21, 2024 (2+ months later)

We had a gender reveal party on the day she was 20 weeks and found out we are going to be having a sweet little girl!!! This was on a Sunday. We were both over the moon and couldn’t stop beaming leading up to our doctor’s appointment a couple days later on Tuesday. Went in on Tuesday for the 20th week appointment. They did the anatomy scan, baby was perfectly healthy. Had all 10 fingers and toes. Was estimated to be about 1/3 larger than average expected at that date.

Our Doctor came in at the end of the appointment. Said he saw on the ultrasound that my wife’s cervix was shorter than he would like and that she had already dilated a cm. My wife, as always, remained as cool as a cucumber while my insides felt like a volcanic eruption. They admitted her to the hospital. Were set to perform a “cerclage” which they did the following day.

To make a long story short, everything went incredibly well. Our doctor and the surgeon both seemed optimistic, though I know we are not completely out of the woods. They allowed us to go home after 4 days. My wife is expected to be on bed rest for the next 8 weeks and we have to go to the doctor every two weeks until our little girl arrives. We will also come back between 36-37 weeks where the cerclage will be removed and nature should then take its course. We officially hit 22 weeks today.

My wife and I would both like to thank everyone for the well wishes, prayers, and good vibes sent our way on our journey from you fine folks here at Reddit. Hopefully, the rest of this pregnancy will be super boring, and my next post will be about the arrival of our miracle little angel.

Pink Confetti Pic

Some of OOP's Comments:

Commenter: Here's to a happy healthy family

As a side note, I've had five cerclages and all worked exactly as they were supposed to, so all should go well til baby girl gets here :)

OOP: That is very reassuring to hear! Thanks so much!

Commenter: Hope yall got on your knees and picked up all that stupid pink trash after

But probably not …..

OOP: Just so you know, the cannons were in fact environmentally friendly. Basically colored corn starch and colored tissue paper that was thinner than single ply toilet paper.
I ran over it all with a lawnmower with mulching blade after the party. It rained the next day and you literally could not tell anything had taken place there. But I appreciate your righteous indignation.

Mini Update in Comments: September 10, 2024 (a bit less than 2 months later)

We just had a checkup at a little over 29 weeks and everything is going well. We had a brief mishap right after the reveal at the 20 week mark where she was in the hospital for a few days. They did a cerclage. She is currently home from work taking it easy, eating lots of tacos and binge watching Friends! 🤣 I am running around like a madman making sure the house is literally perfect. Currently in the middle of painting and preparing the nursery as I type this! I will most certainly post an update!

Update Post 3: October 18, 2024 (6.5 months from OG post)

Title: Update III: After 18 Years Together, It Finally Happened!!! (She’s Here!!!)

I have still been getting messages as recently as last week, asking for an update.

The initial post can be seen here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/1bx1oyr/after_nearly_18_years_together_it_finally_happened/ Update 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/1cs3iyf/update_after_nearly_18_years_together_it_finally/ Update 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/1e91c06/update_ii_after_nearly_18_years_together_it/ TLDR at the bottom.

Literally two days after my last post, at just past 20 weeks, we went to one of our doctor’s appointments where they found my wife had dilated a centimeter, and her cervix was quite short. She was admitted immediately where they performed a cerclage. We spent a few scary days at the hospital but everything turned out fine and the pregnancy had progressed as it should. The cerclage was scheduled to be removed on 10/28. After everything that had occurred, ourselves and the doctor figured our little girl would be here a little sooner than her expected 11/24 due date. We were expecting a possible Halloween baby.

Fast forward a bit past the 34 week mark. Wednesday 10/16 was my birthday. I was awakened violently at 4:30 a.m. by my wife telling me that her water had just broken. Initially, I thought she was joking, but I could see in her eyes and demeanor that she was not. To make a long story short, we rushed to the hospital and approximately 12 hours later, our little girl had arrived on the same day, in the same hospital that her Pop(me) had been born 41 years prior.

At 4:16 p.m. our most precious Tiger Lily came roaring into the world, weighing 5 pounds 4 ounces and measuring 18 inches.

Being born at less than 35 weeks, it was mandatory that she be brought to the NICU. They currently have her hooked to a bubble C-Pap, an IV for preventative antibiotics, a feeding tube, and placed in what is for all intents and purposes, an incubator to keep her warm. She is already meeting or exceeding the metrics set forth by the hospital and her doctors. They have tripled her food intake in the last 40ish hours, she is regulating her own body temperature, and they took her off the C-Pap today.

She is perfect ya’ll. Her little features so well defined, it is as if she was carved out of marble by a master Italian sculptor. Her eyes as blue as the waters of the Caribbean. Skin as soft and flawless as freshly bloomed rose petals. And the aura of a star. We are so in love with this child that we can’t even take our eyes off of her.

My wife and I would really like to thank everyone who has followed our family journey. Especially those who have reached out offering kind words, prayers, and good vibes. Much love Reddit!

Baby Pic

Some of OOP's Comments:

Commenter: I sobbed reading this (and your previous posts). I am SO happy for you, stranger! Your little girl is perfect, look at her little face and that head of hair!!

Enjoy every minute, time goes fast - blah, blah, blah. It truly is the most incredible thing and will be so worth the wait and the hardships you’ve had to endure. She is as lucky to have you both as you are her 😄

OOP: My wife and I are soaking in every second. She was the final piece to our puzzle. I have been fortunate enough now to get everything I ever hoped to have in this life. And I am eternally grateful for it! Thank you so much for your kind words stranger.

Commenter: As someone going through fertility treatments right now, this post gives me so much joy and hope. She is absolutely beautiful!!!

OOP: We went through fertility treatments in the beginning, lost a pregnancy along the way, and over the years, especially recently, had really given up hope. Now here we are. My wife had PCOS, Endo, the works. It all just went away as she aged, and now here we are. Our OB says it happens more than you think and they don’t have any sort of explanation for it. Keep hope alive and much love to you kind Redditor.

One more comment from OOP on the age gap since it came up a ton again:

No one reads through the post or replies, and every time I post, everyone gets all hung up on this. She was 18 and I 22 when we got together. She asked me out. She was still 18 and I had turned 23 by the time I proposed, which is about the same time we started trying. 18 years later and we are still very happily together. I’m just not understanding how this is such a bad thing, and how Reddit is all over any sort of age gap. Folks need to remember that people are very different and every situation unique.