A father discovers his son's massive pet snake
**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/bigfuckinsnek in r/parenting** this user has been suspended for reasons unknown. While I'm marking this concluded, because decisions were made, we do not find out about the results of those decisions.
Since this is about snakes, here's some snake facts to block spoilers. The reticulated python (Malayopython reticulatus) is the longest snake in the world, regularly reaching over 6.25 metres in length. Reaching a maximum adult length of only 10.4 cm (4.1 inches) and an average weight of 0.6 g (0.02 ounce), the Barbados threadsnake, (Leptotyphlops carlae) is thought to be the world's smallest known snake.
trigger warnings: animal neglect
mood spoilers: Seems like things will be okay for the snake and that the kid will receive more active parenting
[ My son has been hiding a massive python in his room ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/11normx/my_son_has_been_hiding_a_massive_python_in_his/) - March 10 2023
My son is 15 and he is has been into snakes for a couple of years now. He got his first ball python at 10 and now he is 15 and he has several snakes. His room is just full of tanks. The freezer in the garage is full of frozen rodents. He buys them with his allowance, and more recently his casual job. My wife doesn’t like it so she just doesn’t open the freezer in the garage or go into his room. When he was younger I used to help him with thawing the rodents and cleaning the tanks, but as the years went on and he seemed like he was on top of it all I kind of just let him do his thing. I haven’t checked on his snakes in a while. To my knowledge, he hasn’t killed any of his snakes yet. Sometimes I take him to the pet store and he buys little fancy hides for his snakes or a few bags of wood chips, but we live pretty close so usually he bikes himself there. He loves his snakes, they all have names. I see him walking around the house with a corn snake around his neck sometimes. I thought he was really responsible.
He’s seemed a bit stressed out and not like himself lately, so I’ve been telling him he can tell me anything he needs to and we don’t need to tell his mom. Guy stuff. I thought there was a girl at school or something, but eventually I poked my head into his room and immediately noticed one of his tanks had the biggest snake I’ve ever seen. I used to have a snake before I got married so I thought I would be able to adequately supervise his new hobby but somehow my son got his hands on a huge snake. I don’t know how big it is, but it’s two or three times the size of all the other snakes he has. It looks way too big for the tank it’s in. I’ve never seen such a huge snake before.
The poor thing is jammed in a 40 galleon tank. I only got him 40 galleon tanks because I THOUGHT he only had balls and corns. I asked him where he got the snake. He didn’t want to tell me. I told him that he couldn’t keep the snake, it was just too huge. To say he is heartbroken is an understatement. I don’t even know how to describe how big this fucking snake is. My wife would absolutely lose her shit if she knew about this monster snake we have under our roof. Not gonna lie, I about blew a gasket. I told him that it was really cruel to keep such a large snake in such a small tank. It can’t even slither around, there’s just no room. I think my son knows what he’s doing is wrong, but he doesn’t want to give up the snake.
My son is usually such a good young man but he wouldn’t tell me anything about this gigantic snake. I did some googling but I have no idea if it’s a burm or a retic or what. Some kind of massive python. My son is a bit on the smaller side, I have no idea how he’s been dealing with such a massive snake on his own or how he’s been feeding it. I know how dangerous big snakes can be for one person. I am absolutely kicking myself knowing what could have happened to him in his own bedroom without my knowledge. I immediately started looking for somewhere to take the snake in and give it the proper care it needs. I have been in touch with a local zoo and a local reptile expert, we are working on it together, so it’s just a matter of days till the big snake finds a home that can care for it properly. It cannot stay where it is, and it won’t.
The advice I’m looking for is how to navigate this with my son. I don’t know how to make him understand why he can’t keep the snake. I’m also worried he will never forgive me for taking his pet away. He can keep all his other snakes, just not the one that is probably heavier than he is. I need to know what kind of snake it is and where the fuck he got it. I’m also debating telling my wife or not. She is also an animal lover and will back me up about the snake not belonging in such a small tank, but I know she’s going to lose her mind. She’s terrified of snakes and will probably get herself a hotel room till we can rehome the snake. She will be mad at me too, so right now I am of the mind what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
TL;DR discovered my son has a GIANT python hidden away in his room. He can’t give the snake the care it needs, so I am going to rehome it. How do I navigate the fallout with my son and wife?
Comment from a user - CatholicKay
Is it a reticular python? My sister almost got tricked into buying a baby one and the seller told her it would only get so big. This was at a reputable reptile convention. It was a hatchling. Someone thankfully told her the truth. She almost bought it and my parents had no idea she was even going to get a snake that day. It would have been the same situation in the end lol
Makes me wonder how long he had it for and if he got it when it was small but didn't know it would get so big. It would explain his attachment to it too, but in the end it will cause the snake to suffer.
Some of the posters were pretty concerned by the hands-off approach in parenting.
I’m more concerned that no adult has checked a teen boy’s room for this long.
Does no one vacuum or dust? How about change bed sheets? I am beyond amazed and disgusted that a parent not go into their kids bedroom for two years. Who is cleaning the room? The kid wakes up every day, no need to do that either?
Maybe your son needs a limit on how many pet snakes he has?
Also...I love snakes, appreciate their role within a balanced ecology, but personally (and I'll get downvoted for this, oh well), I think keeping snakes (along with myriad other 'exotic' or even just run-of-the-mill wild animals like deer, raccoons, etc.) is incredibly cruel. These are animals that don't have millenia of domestication-oriented breeding and human interrelationships to inform their behavior. They're wired to be wild and they will be. I think they're beautiful and valuable, but personally, I just think it's wrong. Keeping them supports a terrible industry lucrative.
Obviously nobody here is going to change their behavior based on one rando internet person's opinions, but OP you may want to consider chatting with your son about having a reasonable limit on how many pets he has. I'm not saying he's doing this, but animal hoarding is totally a thing. Sounds like you're reacting with as much reason and compassion as you can in a weird, highly charged situation.
Whatever the case, when the snake gets measured, please update us. I'm curious about how big it actually is (and yes, that is what she said).
Someone had an idea for making this easier on his wife:
Preemptively get your wife the hotel room. Make it somewhere nice, with a spa or restaurant. Be honest with her but give her that escape (plus some pampering). Talk to your son. Explain all the reasons, safety, animal care, etc. Validate that he’s upset it can’t stay. All future pets BEFORE entering the home will need to be discussed and everyone in the home will need to agree to said pet.
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The update was edited into the same thread
UPDATE: I posted this less than two hours after the discovery of the snake and tensions were high. Now I’ve been to work and my son has been to school and we’ve both had time to cool off and he’s had time to think about his choices and actions. When I saw him again this evening he came right up to me and told me what I needed to know.
u/CatholicKay was right on the money with their comment. Apparently he got this snake two years ago at a reptile convention we went to together. He bought two snakes that day and I assumed they were both ball pythons, but apparently one was a baby burmese python. He said he knew it would get bigger but was unprepared for how quickly it grew. He has been spending most of his allowance and paycheques on feeding it several large rats at a time so it won’t starve. Because he’s had it so long he is very attached, but he was really stressed about it because he knew the tank was too small and he wasn’t equipped to look after it. But he didn’t want to tell me about it because he knew I would get mad and immediately make him give it up, which is exactly what happened.
We’re going to tell my wife together in about an hour and have a family meeting. A lot of people have suggested getting her a hotel room which I think is a fantastic idea, I’ll also be booking her a spa session. Some of your comments were a little hard to read, I have been a little hands-off about his snake collection, so from now on I will be more involved and supervise a little closer. I think he’s learned his lesson though. He is no longer upset about losing his snake, but he is still upset about how he kept it in such awful conditions for so long. I think he will wear this for a long time, so I’m going to focus on solving this problem and not give him too much of a hard time about it. I’m not pleased that he let this happen, I’m furious with myself for not picking up on it sooner, but at the end of the day I’m proud of him that he’s mature enough to own his mistake and make it right.
We have secured a temporary home for the big snake and it will be relocated tomorrow morning. The local reptile expert is coming to our house tomorrow (with backup) to pick the snake up and take it on temporarily, assess its health and get it acclimatized to being in an appropriately sized enclosure, and then it will be going to a zoo in the next state over. We will make a trip to go visit it once it’s settled in, and my son appreciated the suggestion that he volunteer at a reptile center or wildlife sanctuary. We also watched a really informative video on YouTube about how to properly care for a Burmese python, it’s called Clint’s Reptiles, so I’m glad this experience has been slightly educational for him.
Tonight is going to be challenging, and tomorrow will be tough, but I would like to thank you all for your advice.
**Reminder - I am not the original poster.**