Work feels dehumanizing

Is it just me or does work feel genuinely dehumanizing? I… how the fuck do people do 40 hours a week? Like fuck, dude, you basically need 40 a week to SURVIVE these days and here I am suffering with just like, 25 hours a week. How does anyone survive this? I mean, I know I will eventually. It just feels like every time I’m not working is counting down to when I do work.

I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I genuinely have no life outside of work. Mostly because I don’t have a work. Also because I’m far away from everyone I genuinely enjoy being around. It just feels like I’m barely a person anymore. I am trying so hard to get through this, I just… shut down after. I feel completely lethargic.

I’m just so tired. I think. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I don’t know who I was or who I am or who I will be anymore. I just fill my life with little things in a desperate attempt to distract myself from what is crushing me. I don’t know how to escape this.

Edit- for context I am adding that I work in retail. I’ve always wanted to work in a library though. Hell ever since listening to the Magnus archives I’ve wanted to work as an archivist.