Grieving is the worst. Please dont be mean.

Its been a year now since they passed, I feel like Im still grieving but its disrupted my daily life so much. Ive cried myself to sleep every night since it has happened, I feel like im being overdramatic. I don't know whats wrong with me, I loved them so much but i was always mean to them and i feel like they died knowing they hated me. My family members say that they can still hear them talk, and i dont hear it. I dont know if theyre being serious or hyperthetical, but it really upsets me and they know it does.