Are autistic people controlling?

Today and many times before I have been called controlling, selfish etc because I like routine, I like to plan my day and unfortunately since I live at home this means I need to know what my mom is doing so I can according plan my day, when I need to cook, and to know when I can take a shower because I need to prepare for it. As it's a very overwhelming task for me. And I just like knowing if she'll be out or home that day so I know what to expect and if I have to mask. Then there's the obvious accommodation I need to well live as an autistic person, but to her these seem controlling of me to ask for? So is needing to know what the other person has planned for the day controlling? Is it wrong to want to know so I can plan my day? It's caused many a fight and I'm just not sure who's wrong or how to overcome this since it's so important for me to have a plan.

Many thanks.