Are we asking too much?

My husband and I are trying to figure out if we are asking too much from our au pair. She's sweet but she's really struggling and we want to know if it's our expectations.

Our schedule is 9a-4p/5p some weekdays and 7:30a-3p no more than 3 Saturday a month. Mom works from home and steps in so the au pair can get a break as needed, except Saturdays. If dad is available he takes over child care early when he can, like once a week. When our au pair works a Saturday she is off Sunday, Monday (every time) and Tuesdays (2 times a month).

Mom makes lunch for the toddler when the au pair is working and makes dinner every night. Mom also does all of the house hold laundry including the au pair's. Mom also does all of the house cleaning.

We have all of the au pair's "chores" written on a weekly calendar so there is clear communication of what is expected.

We have been asking our au pair to take out her bedroom and bathroom trash on Monday evenings (trash comes on Tuesday morning). She has not and must have used tampons in her room as our cat gifted us one this evening. The bathroom trash can has a foot powered lid so we're sure that's no where it came from.

We ask her to put away her laundry and our toddler's. We ask her to do this during her "on the clock time". This is also not happening as I have no empty laundry baskets to put clean laundry in and I have turned my house upside down, except my au pair's room.

We also ask her to vacuum our daughter's play area each day she is working, we do not ask her to do this when she isn't working. We also ask she cleans up any activities (like clean up the paint and paper when she does arts and crafts).

We do not have a curfew, but we ask she is home 6.5 hours before she needs to work so she can get enough sleep. We also ask she let's us know if she is going somewhere, not where, just the when are you leaving. We ask so Mom doesn't make more food than we can all eat or so if HM doesn't feel like cooking she doesn't have to.

We also ask that if our au pair is "on the clock" and out with HM or the family at an event or the mall, etc. she helps with the toddler at least a little bit. For instance, if HM, toddler and the au pair are out she will not push the stroller or help open a door so host mom can push the stroller through it. If she is in her off the clock time and we are still out somewhere we have 0 expectation that she should help and we do not ask her to.

We are currently struggling to get her to do any of the above. My husband had a conversation with her last week where she said she thinks she can do what we are asking. In the last week she has made 0 progress.

Are we asking too much, do we need to give her more time "on the clock" without our child to get things done? Are our expectations unreasonable? What do we as host parents need to change to help our au pair?