I Just Want to Be Held

Not sure how else to say this, but I just really miss being held. Like, not even in a romantic way-just that feeling of someone wrapping you up in a hug and making you feel safe for a moment.

I've never been in a relationship before, but there was this one time when a man I was seeing held me. I don't miss him, specifically. What I miss is something deeper, the quiet strength of a man's touch. The way it feels grounding. There's something about their smell and the coarser skin, the weight of someone's presence. I don't even want it to be sexual, I just want to be held. Most days I can't fall asleep. My brain won't shutup and the clock is deafening.

It's hard to explain to people without sounding overly dramatic. I'm close to my bestfriend and my sister but I can't say this to them.Weighted blankets and all that are nice, but they're not the same.

I don't know, I'm not asking any question here or not even complaining. I think I just wanted to let it out. Thanks for reading.