What does being gay feel like for you?

I'm going through a tough period right now where I'm just feeling tired of being gay. I live in a conservative city, and although the gay scene exists, it's still very much underground, and you have to go through certain loops in order to fit in (e.g. having to go to techno clubs, which I hate because of the music and because it's a club). With this, most people end up doing activities with the intention of hooking up instead of just having genuine fun or making friends.

The gay men here are also quite shy and quiet, which clashes with me because I have a big personality, reason why I end up having several queer women and straight (male and female) friends. It makes me feel lonely because I lack a deep connection with other gay men, which is something I desperately crave. I get in my feelings every time we go out and my straight friends end up making out with someone they just met, and my queer friends are all dating or don't have a hard time dating.

So I basically want to know how you guys feel about being gay and how you deal whenever you have these feelings of loneliness or just being tired of it all