What's Your Relationship Like Post Affair and Reconciliation?

Wayward Spouse here. My BS and I are reading Cheating In A Nutshell together. I am finding the read to be very difficult for me personally (I know it is also for my BS). Not from a defensive standpoint but one that is full of regret and remorse. It is very painful to see the damage that I have done to my BS and how my recklessness throughout our relationship could've been avoided had I just done some self reflecting and taken accountability earlier on in the relationship.

The book is pretty heavy on seeing reconciliation as the BS needing to forego their own safety, sanity, and beliefs. They make it sound like those who do choose to reconcile do so out of mere convenience or delusion (at least that is my take on what the authors are trying to convey).

For those of you who are in fact in the process of reconciling, or who have successfully reconciled, what is your take on the relationship now after betrayal? Is there hope? If there was for you, how did you navigate it to success?

I wish I never did what I did. Especially coming from a broken home myself (father betrayed mother countless times, and even lived with his AP after custody battles of me and my older brother). I never thought I'd see myself in this position. I fear that I only wished I'd never be here in this predicament instead of putting safeguards in place.