i hate the whole idea of sex

deep down i know sex and attraction is a normal human thing to experience and everyone should be able to celebrate their sexuality and enjoy sex in whatever way they'd like. but after all these wonderful years of being cheated on i just don't care anymore.

it just feels like everyone is just a bunch of uncontrollable sex hounds who only think about where they're going to get their next lay. it's all over the tv, online. you can find porn just about anywhere. you can't bring people you thought were friends into your home because they might try to fuck your partner, and if your partner feels so inclined they'll take them up on that offer!

i have not once in my life felt so out of control over my own sexuality or sexual thoughts. you're telling me that everyone just fails at turning the other way when they sense attraction toward someone they shouldn't be approaching out of respect for their partners? it just seems like such a sad and obsessive culture around sex. i hate hearing about hookup culture because it grosses me out and all every people seem to feel is unsatisfied and used.

idk im just venting. none of this should be taken as fact because i understand sex as a nuanced topic but i just feel so screwed up about it these days. sometimes i just wish to disappear from this part of our culture and never have anything to do with sex and relationships again because it just doesn't feel worth it. the only thing i've gained is trauma and a jaded outlook on people and relationships.