My 8 learnings in 8 months on matrimonial apps (29M)

Some context on me so that people can relate. I'm from a Hindu family born and brought up in Tier 1. Average height & looks, postgrad from Tier 1 college and a well paying job.

I have not yet found anyone nor feel like I will on these apps. I have been quite religiously active on both of them and have paid subscriptions being renewed for some time now.

These are my learnings after rejecting 200+ profiles and getting rejected by 30+.

  1. Caste is a BIG factor. If you belong to minority castes, you won't get any views let alone interests.

  2. Do not have any expectations when you send an interest. In my case, I sent around 70 interests of which 30 odd were rejected and 40 odd were just left on pending for months, which I cancelled later.

  3. Most profiles will not respond to your interest. Your interests will remain in the 'Sent' state forever. They may check out your profile a couple of times and then that's it.

  4. Even if you get an acceptance or accept someone, 80% of the time the conversation does not go beyond that. If you're having to try too hard to, then there's no point.

  5. Most of the profiles created by 'Self' are not ready for marriage. They are only in their exploring phase and you will end up wasting your time with them.

  6. No point exploring inter-state or even inter-community matches. You will end up wasting your time even if things go ahead initially. Anything beyond a hundred kms from your location is too much of a hassle and risk. The matches will lose interest eventually over time if you're not staying close by.

  7. You will be urged to lower your expectations. I get a lot of requests from matches really not remotely up to my standards.

  8. Even after a conversation initiates, you have to try really really hard to keep it going till you reach the calling phase.

Here is my experience in numbers:

Interests received: ~200 Accepted by me: ~15 Talking phase on app: 6 Talking phase outside app: 5 Talking phase on call: 2

Interests sent: ~70 Interests accepted: 3 Talking phase on app: 0

I have not tried an assisted plan yet, I would love to know about your experience with those.

Anyway, I feel like finding someone through friends and family is the best way forward for me. I have completely given up on these apps.