I need big sis/bro advice. Struggling to meet the right man.
In my late 20s and some of you’ll may be younger. But any advice is welcome.
I live abroad and have been searching for a life partner through AM websites and desi dating apps for 3 years. I started with optimism but I’m disappointed like many of you.
The guys I meet seem well educated, some of them are also attractive physically. I don’t have unrealistic expectations but expect basic connection. However very few men display the emotional and practical intelligence I’m looking for in a potential life partner.
These are the types I keep meeting:
Immature: They’re unsure of their goals, or want to spend savings touring the world and buying reeboks instead of starting a family. Some of them don’t know why they’re considering marriage except getting their parents to stop bothering them. People may have different goals but where are the ones serious about starting a family?
Inexperienced in love: Some of them are lonely and have never spoken to a girl in their life and look at marriage as some magic cure. They start declaring that I am their soulmate after 1-2 meets. I tried to be open minded to men like this but they give me ‘Ali from Dhoom’ vibes.
Inconsiderate: Men who don’t even walk you home, ask about your day or show you any care. They’re extremely defensive and have a “why should I chase” “women are after my money” mentality (which is hilarious because I’ve split all bills). I try to be empathetic but which girl wants to be treated this way? I don’t want to ‘earn’ a guy’s basic courtesy.
Once in a blue moon I meet men who seem mature and considerate but other things like long term goals, chemistry or location don’t align. Believe me I try very hard to compromise on goals or build chemistry but you cannot force it beyond a point.
What am I doing wrong? I don’t have unrealistic expectations of height, salary or family wealth. Where are the husband material men I can grow with into a happy and stable marriage? Why is emotional maturity so rare?