Yale ain’t rocking with me, I accept that

Deferred SCEA and I can’t lie it hurt, a lot. Now seeing RD applicants getting likely’s while I never had an interview, hurts more. I honestly feel like withdrawing my application so at least I can end this fairytale turned nightmare on my own terms. My parents won’t let me though, they tell me it’s a part of the process but honestly this process is ass. It’s draining me, it’s controlling me, taking me out of character not liking the person in the mirror. Hope can be a very cruel thing to hold on to, certainty feels real. Yale stop playing with me, I don’t want to be wrapped around your finger anymore. They say April brings showers but in my mind it rains all the time. If I’m not fit, please tell me now at least then I can walk away. You were supposed to be home, you were supposed to be new but you’ve become, ass.