Intrusive thoughts about getting severe depression

Tw: talk about suicide

Hi all, i lost someone close to me to suicide 4 years ago, it was super traumatising and scary. After 6 months of grieving at home I went away to university again where I kind of forgot about it, kind of realised I was drinking more than usual and now I know it was because I hadn’t healed, eventually met my current partner calmed down and life was amazing again . Now 4 years later everything was fine until 3 months ago when I started with heavy anxiety and thoughts of my loved ones dying, now I started with thoughts of what if I get depressed/have always had depression and end up like the person I lost to suicide. I know these are just thoughts stemming from my loss as I never had them before in my life and I was always happy before I went through that. I’ve had 6 sessions of therapy with a therapist who made me feel worse and made me believe I was always depressed although I know I was always happy, she was also very negativel and just not what I needed. I’m starting therapy soon with a new psychologist so hoping that will help me get to the bottom of this trauma. I’m so so scared of gettjng depressed because I associate it to the person i lost to suicide is anyone else going through something similar? How do I stop this??