My first time traveling again since i almost died in Arches National Park, UT

Hi guys, never posted on here and recently found out about this community. Figured it might help to talk about this.

Traveling use to be literally my favorite thing. Photography is my personal passion, so every national park is like a whole new canvas.

My family and siblings always go on a road trip every summer to 5-6 national parks. We spend a month photographing, exploring, hiking, fishing, kayaking, all of that. It is my yearly therapy session and recharge.

I have been to 30 National Parks, 5 CA parks and 43 states. I save up my money, vacation time, for this month to be free.

Last year, we went to a few different NPs out west. While exploring utah, we spent a week Moab. It took us 5 days to get there from Florida, stopping at a few other parks along the way.

I wasn’t prepared for the extremity of which water leaves your body in July out there. The temp was 100 degrees, sweltering. The sun was so bright.

By the end of our hiking day, getting to Delicate arch, we had put in 5-6 miles. I was exhausted. I did not drink as much water as I should have. But I felt fine. I thought I was just in better shape than I thought I was. My family is not athletic aside from my sisters. I workout regularly, swimming is my strong suit sports wise.

The heat exhaustion quickly caught up with me halfway through the hike. It was 1 pm and the sun was scorching. No shade, no wind. It was beautiful, gorgeous, I was just slowly dying. Being squeezed by the dry heat.

I ended up having to rely on strangers to help me out. Couldn’t find my family. No cell service. Finally my family caught up to me and gave me some Gatorade and I begged them to take me back to the car. I was slipping in and out of consciousness sitting on a giant rock. My heart was beating so fast, I was shaking, I had chills, I started seeing tunnel vision, I started losing control of my legs to walk. That’s when I got terrified.

My family was also gassed but refused to turn around because we had gone so far already. I cried and begged them more to please go back to the car with me, I didn’t know if I could make it alone. They told me they would walk with me up to the arch, obviously, but they wouldn’t come with me back to the car. I was so scared I wouldn’t make it down alone. They told me to go down by myself and go to the car.

On my way down I almost fainted but I met a group of people who helped me. I made it back to my car and cried alone, slipping in and out of consciousness, scared for 2 hours. Couldn’t call even my girlfriend or my dad back at home to calm me down in Florida bc I had no service.

Well needless to say the rest of the trip was a disaster, we suffered heat exhaustion at least 4-5 more times with all the symptoms. On the way home I was shook to my core and had anxiety attacks every day multiple times.

A year passed and I’ve been doing EDMR and talk therapy. I also use MMJ. Every time I leave on a trip now, I get anxiety attacks.

This is our first big summer trip since then. I have gone to 3 week long trips in the smokies and Shenandoah and they went well.

I am just sharing this and my story as an outlet for my fears and anxiety. My biggest issues with the drive up are making sure I get enough time to decompress ALONE. My family is a big stressor to this anxiety bc they have a tendency to not understand when I need time alone, or 2 hours to decompress and chill alone, or just to listen to my music with ear buds in, etc.

Then when I tell them “yo this helps me tho” they still don’t understand. Even though they were there. But that’s a story for another time.

All in all, I hope I am able to keep my anxiety at bay. We are going to Minnesota, hitting up 3-4 parks along the way. Our itinerary looks beautiful, so I really really want to enjoy myself.

My girlfriend is my biggest support and is almost a trained licensed mental health counselor so she is really really my rock. She won’t be coming this trip so I will be going completely solo. She really is the only person in the world who can truly 100% calm me. So this worries me a little, but I don’t want to be completely dependent either.

Again, have been working on safe places in my mind, EDMR tools, grounding techniques, etc. I feel ready but scared. I really wanna enjoy traveling like I use to.

Anyways, any ideas or comments are welcome guys :) much love.